Questionable Ethics

I'm having a lot of thoughts right now about money. Maybe it's because our church is going through a series on giving. Or because I've picked up a book called Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger. Or because I just watched Sicko. Or because God just has something to tell me right now. I just got a regular update letter from Global Aid Network (one of the ministries we support) which left me standing in my kitchen, crying. I get these letters every month, and they always touch me in some way. But this time my heart just broke. I'm standing there munching away on my chips and salsa, reading about orphans staying out of school to harvest potatoes (getting a pitance of their labor to eat) and subsisting on nothing but these potatoes and bread. And suddenly it all seemed ridiculous. How can we have so much, and they have so little? We're not more worthy than them. I know that God has a plan, but I have to consider that maybe part of that plan includes me giving up a good chunk of my "so much." I have of course had these thoughts before, but I usually manage to let the regularities of my day wash over these thoughts, drowning them in the back of my mind. So I thought this time I'd write it down. Our culture tells us that we deserve all this stuff, that, in fact, we NEED it; that the world isn't fair, and that's just the way it is. But I'm a Christian. Jesus tells me something different. Why is it so hard to override this crazy culture and listen to Him? I don't have all the answers. But I want to make a difference.